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Submitted on
November 17, 2013
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Wish Upon A Scar

Shades of words can strengthen...walls
But embodiments of lies can flaw the very same...cause
-
A droplet of water lasted me a thousand ages
For I have traveled inside my mind

I documented a thousand faces
That ended up turning blind eyes

The lifeblood of faith kept urging me to wait
While I became a statue deprived of light and the life I once called mine

Numb sounds flow / Passions let go
Clinging onto footprints / A coward's instinct

Uncensored immunity is a curse
For tragedy teaches weakness
Nothing will be of any worth
As love and fear will be without consequences

Once upon a song / You were a flower
Your petals became undone / Gone now and forever

A taste of your grace got me through a thousand fates
I have not forgotten the abyss of your bliss

But it broke me over and over a thousand ways
The memory of your kiss is a double-edged gift

The void you left behind became my name
And I kill myself bit by bit every time I reminisce of when my heart was within your grip
-
Effects of a promise can provide...hope
But scars on a heart cannot be...revoked
I carved your name where it belonged
Invoking the pain that I kept so long
___________________________________

Stock image -  Bandage 4 by RD-Stock by - RD-Stock

Check out my facebook artist page and hit like ----> www.facebook.com/Eric.M.M.Walk…

_____________________________________________
This poem is written for my new project, titled- "Trials Of The Mind"
_____________________________________________
Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my future work.
:iconhollowfiedlife: :iconrainbowizedsky: :iconominoushero: :iconimmortalizedlies:
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:icondarkhallows1000:
As a writer, and a very intense critique, I must say the title really caught my eye as well as the picture to go along with it as well.
I must say that it was very confusing of what exactly you're talking about. It's very deep but some people who are not deep thinkers, may find it a little confusing. At first it sounds like cutting then it starts talking about someone dying. Who died, a friend? Some poems may become a mystery and never explained. Maybe since you have the option of a description, describe your poem deeper.
Also, your structure is great but a little choppy and not as explained as it should be. I would suggest going deeper in your explanation of your poem for those who may find it confusing. I understand it by reading it 3-4 times. I like your work and find this very pleasing.
Please keep up your writing (: Hoped this help (not much but still XD)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
14 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconzadremoboys:
This Id amaxing, I love it all. I adore the way you used you words, and that you used very little words it has a really big impact. It has a really big impact on those who believe this, Like me. This makes me think back to when I thought no one understood, but there are people who do understand. Your wording is wonderful, and the poem touchs my heart. I absolutly love this poem, My daer girl you have an amazing, wonderful writing gift!! Take it from a girl who writes a lot, you are very amazing!!

LOVE YOU!!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love these lines:

"I documented a thousand faces
That ended up turning blind eyes"

A very emotional piece here, and a job well done. 
Clap Queen of roses Blue Rose in teardrop crystal vase dewless 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Those two lines are what first started the poem in the first place. :D
I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. Its particularly close to me.
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Giant Smother Hug V2 The close ones are usually the best ones. 
Reply
:iconpikeypie:
pikeyPIE Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
Nice. 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug? 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Only if you're a cactus. :P
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
I don't mind. Huggle! 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
Huggle! 
Reply
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