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Wish Upon A Scar

Shades of words can strengthen...walls
But embodiments of lies can flaw the very same...cause
-
A droplet of water lasted me a thousand ages
For I have traveled inside my mind

I documented a thousand faces
That ended up turning blind eyes

The lifeblood of faith kept urging me to wait
While I became a statue deprived of light and the life I once called mine

Numb sounds flow / Passions let go
Clinging onto footprints / A coward's instinct

Uncensored immunity is a curse
For tragedy teaches weakness
Nothing will be of any worth
As love and fear will be without consequences

Once upon a song / You were a flower
Your petals became undone / Gone now and forever

A taste of your grace got me through a thousand fates
I have not forgotten the abyss of your bliss

But it broke me over and over a thousand ways
The memory of your kiss is a double-edged gift

The void you left behind became my name
And I kill myself bit by bit every time I reminisce of when my heart was within your grip
-
Effects of a promise can provide...hope
But scars on a heart cannot be...revoked
I carved your name where it belonged
Invoking the pain that I kept so long
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Stock image -  Bandage 4 by RD-Stock by - RD-Stock

Check out my facebook artist page and hit like ----> www.facebook.com/Eric.M.M.Walk…

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This poem is written for my new project, titled- "Trials Of The Mind"
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Check out my galleries below if you want to read more.
Watch me if you think that you might like my future work.
:iconhollowfiedlife: :iconrainbowizedsky: :iconominoushero: :iconimmortalizedlies:
Add a Comment:
 
:icondarkhallows1000:
As a writer, and a very intense critique, I must say the title really caught my eye as well as the picture to go along with it as well.
I must say that it was very confusing of what exactly you're talking about. It's very deep but some people who are not deep thinkers, may find it a little confusing. At first it sounds like cutting then it starts talking about someone dying. Who died, a friend? Some poems may become a mystery and never explained. Maybe since you have the option of a description, describe your poem deeper.
Also, your structure is great but a little choppy and not as explained as it should be. I would suggest going deeper in your explanation of your poem for those who may find it confusing. I understand it by reading it 3-4 times. I like your work and find this very pleasing.
Please keep up your writing (: Hoped this help (not much but still XD)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
14 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconzadremoboys:
This Id amaxing, I love it all. I adore the way you used you words, and that you used very little words it has a really big impact. It has a really big impact on those who believe this, Like me. This makes me think back to when I thought no one understood, but there are people who do understand. Your wording is wonderful, and the poem touchs my heart. I absolutly love this poem, My daer girl you have an amazing, wonderful writing gift!! Take it from a girl who writes a lot, you are very amazing!!

LOVE YOU!!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love these lines:

"I documented a thousand faces
That ended up turning blind eyes"

A very emotional piece here, and a job well done. 
Clap Queen of roses Blue Rose in teardrop crystal vase dewless 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Those two lines are what first started the poem in the first place. :D
I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. Its particularly close to me.
Reply
:iconashes-mari3:
Ashes-Mari3 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Giant Smother Hug V2 The close ones are usually the best ones. 
Reply
:iconpikeypie:
pikeyPIE Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013
Nice. 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug? 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Only if you're a cactus. :P
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
I don't mind. Huggle! 
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
<3
Reply
:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
Huggle! 
Reply
:icona-m-khaos:
A-M-Khaos Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful. really well wrote easy to read and so emotional.
:):)
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the kind comment. I'm so happy that some people liked it at least. <3
Reply
:icona-m-khaos:
A-M-Khaos Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no problem mate and i dont see why any wouldnt like this :)
Reply
:iconjohntanner:
JohnTanner Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Professional General Artist
u frikin wot jig
Reply
:iconcandychan06:
CandyChan06 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Emotional... It really made me feel something while reading it :)
Added to my Favorites! xD
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
^_^
Thank you. I'm glad you found this to your liking. It really means a lot. :D
Reply
:icondevilomsorgar:
Devilomsorgar Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
Gay. Grow up.
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, I wanna grow up and be as naive and narrow minded JUST LIKE YOU! ;)
Reply
:iconjohntanner:
JohnTanner Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Professional General Artist
He definitely wouldn't because his wounds will not heal.
Reply
:iconjohntanner:
JohnTanner Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Professional General Artist
CRAAAWWWLLIIING IIIN MAAAI SKIIIIIIIIN
THESE WOUUUUNDSS THEY WIIIILL NOT HEAAAAAAAL
Reply
:icondevilomsorgar:
Devilomsorgar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
FEEEEAER IS HOOOOW I FAAAALLLL
CONFUUUUSING WHAAAATTT IS REALLLLLLL
Reply
:iconzadremoboys:
Zadremoboys Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student General Artist
Shut The fuck Up
Take From A Gay Chick
Reply
:icondevilomsorgar:
Devilomsorgar Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
>gay chick

hot :iconifapplz:
Reply
:iconzadremoboys:
Zadremoboys Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Go fuck yourself
Reply
:icondevilomsorgar:
Devilomsorgar Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
That's what I was implying ;^)

:iconfapplz:
Reply
:iconzadremoboys:
Zadremoboys Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student General Artist
so....**YAWNS** You bore me. you can't provoke me, but you can try.
Reply
:iconmirimoore:
Mirimoore Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
What the F is wrong with you?
Reply
:iconzadremoboys:
Zadremoboys Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student General Artist
thank you
Reply
:iconterrehbau5:
Terrehbau5 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think you need to do a little more growing up, lil shit.
Reply
:icondevilomsorgar:
Devilomsorgar Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
lel #WREKT
Reply
:iconzadremoboys:
Zadremoboys Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Student General Artist
BACK OFF
Reply
:iconravinniaofcreed:
ravinniaofcreed Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful and emotional. Great job.
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, it really does mean a lot. :D
Reply
:iconravinniaofcreed:
ravinniaofcreed Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem.
Reply
:icondarkvalentine13:
DarkValentine13 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's so emotional... :) Great job.
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, it means a lot. <3
Reply
:icondarkvalentine13:
DarkValentine13 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome. :heart:
Reply
:iconicedragon300:
Icedragon300 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
Thatīs so emotical.
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Totally.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
It's so intense. And the title really catches the eye.
Reply
:iconimmortalizedlies:
ImmortalizedLies Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Those were my intentions.
I'm glad it caught your eye.
Reply
:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Yeah, no problem :)
Reply
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November 17, 2013
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