These past few years have really altered my morals to the point where I guard myself around certain things and situations. The whole cheating thing, it really has a presence in every day life.
Everyone has secrets. I have secrets. You have secrets. The last person you talked to has secrets. I know certain people who are close to me have secrets, and I know some of them.

But they don't know that I know. It just makes it that much more difficult to be around them.

I babysat for this particular person, and she gave me the password to her laptop. No one really uses it except her. I opened firefox to check my DA pages, and at first I saw that the history bar was opened on the side. I scrolled through it for a bit and then this one address caught my attention...and shocked me...

"Casual Encounters Craig's List"

I felt sick to my stomach. This person....this....person....I know....or....I thought I knew...has most likely done something irreversible. And if anyone else found out...I think the outcome would be devastating to all those connected.

I wanted to say something, not to her, but to her other half. But I couldn't, I didn't want to hurt him, I didn't want to say those words. I didn't want to be responsible for starting something that should never be started in the first place. I don't want to be responsible to something tragic. I don't want to divide a family, I can't do something like that, ever.

To this day, I can't look her in the eyes.

Even if it's nothing, but it still could be something.
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Married people, partnered people, couples, in-laws, friends, family...strangers....

I envy them for what they have. They have -someone- to come home to. They have someone to say good night to. They have something to say good morning to. They have someone waiting to see them again and again and again. They have someone to say I love you and expect an auto response back. They have someone...who is there.

And sometimes, they decide to throw it all away. Sometimes, they can't see what other people see. Sometimes, they're drunk, sometimes, they're manipulated, sometimes...they're blind. Sometimes, they intentionally, secretly want to break that connection.Sometimes they're the victims, and the other is the responsible one.

If I had a fraction of what they had, I would never sacrifice it. I would never treat a relationship so childishly.

Envy, lust, pride, greed, wrath, gluttony, sloth, those which who succumb to temptation and weakness and desire.

Secret, those which who hide away a thought, a word, a memory, a hurt, a name, a face, a night, a day, and it slowly eats away at that barrier of guilt.

A crush
A love
Only lust

Can get the best of us...

I want to give the benefit of the doubt.....but the blindfold is transparent.
I want to give them another chance.....but I'm all out of trust and strength.
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These....people.....these strangers.....these liars..........these.................


Cheaters.